Well, another week has somehow slipped by. This week my Mom started her radiation treatments. We were warned of the potential side effects but thankfully she has felt fine with only a little fatigue. I’m SO thankful for that. She will continue the treatments this coming week and we so appreciate your prayers. You want to know what I’m asking God? I’m asking Him to miraculously use this treatment to make those tumors disappear. I’m asking that my Mom would have many, MANY more thriving days on this earth. Yet, at the same time I pray that His perfect will be done.
This journey of faith is certainly not always easy. A little over a week ago I woke up in the middle of the night. My thoughts immediately raced as the reality of now came crashing back. It’s only been about a month since our world turned upside down. There have certainly been waves of emotions as we process it all. Yet, in that moment, in the middle of the night, a simple line went floating through my mind.
He is good.
I thought about how faithful God has been though everything so far. I thought about the sweet early mornings I have gotten so spend with my Mom as we sit and eat breakfast. My eyes linger a little longer on her face as I am just so thankful for another day together.
In the morning He is good.
I thought about the times I have laid my head down at night amazed at God’s sustaining grace as I recall the days… devastating news, a brain biopsy, hard changes…. Yet, He has been faithful.
In the evening He is good.
I thought about the many overwhelming moments we have faced yet thankful for peace and the sweet Presence of God truly holding us together.
In each and every situation HE IS GOOD.
The words of this song continued to fill my heart and I scribbled it down, anxious to share with my Mom. I sat at the piano and sang it for her. I loved that she was singing along before I was finished.
Some might think, how in the world can you say that God is good right now? This diagnosis seems cruel. It seems devastating. So let me insert a personal testimony.
Many of you may remember our son Silas. At our 20 week ultrasound we found out he had many complications. The Lord walked us through the following months to delivery day. We prayed. Many of you prayed. We hoped for a miracle and that he would have a thriving life. The day came and the second he was born the room was filled with silence. My mom was standing at my side and I remember the tears filling my eyes as I whispered, “Is he breathing?” The medial team worked so hard but it was obvious the complications were too much for his tiny, beautiful body.
Nine hours. We were blessed with nine hours of his life on this earth and I will ever be thankful for the moments I got to hold him. I sang to him. I loved every part of him.
The months (years) that followed were brutal. Life quietly returned to “normal” for everyone, except me. I found myself in a strange, sad, lonely place. Looking back now I know I was angry. I wanted an answer for how God could allow such pain. It seemed unfair. It seemed cruel. My thoughts were consumed by questions and bitterness. Yet, PRAISE GOD, He was so patient with me.
I look back now and know He was taking me on a wonderful journey to grow my faith in an incredible way. I could never explain His miraculous work in my life, but can sum it up with this verse:
"My ears had heard of you
but now my eyes have seen you." - Job 42:5
Through those dark days He was at work helping me to learn an important truth…. HE IS GOOD. In the hard times He is good. In the glad times He is good. In each and every situation HE IS GOOD. Does this mean we will never be sad or heartbroken? Absolutely not. But I am learning to He wants us to bring our troubles, our hurts, our pain, our aches to Him. And HE will surely be our help. He alone can be our steadfast refuge in this broken, broken world. He gives PEACE when there should be none. JOY even in the midst of sadness. And He beautifully teaches our hearts to say, I trust You even though I don’t understand.
And right now in the midst of this cancer journey with my best friend… my beautiful Mom, I can confidently say (through tears mind you) HE IS GOOD. I don’t know what God is up to in all of this but I believe with all my heart He will never waste our pain.
So here is the song we want to share today. My prayer is it will bring a smile to your face and a simple reminder that no matter what you are facing HE IS GOOD. He is our steadfast, most faithful friend who loves us so.
A big thanks to our talented friend, Phil Greer, who provided a little back up for this song. After I wrote it I knew it needed to end it with a bang. My Mom put a violin in my hands at the age of three and we have been fiddling together ever since. “Boil them Cabbage Down” seemed like a fun and fitting finale for this song of praise.
